My marriage ended a lot of relationships in my life.
Males, females, old friends, new friends.
I gave them up. I let them walk away
All my attention and focus was so predominantly focused on Tom, that I had no energy left for anyone. My marriage. Then my kids. In that order.
I know that this seems awful. It seems wrong. But you have to understand. I was trying to save myself
Without me, who would they have?
I let a lot of people down. And I am so sorry about that. I had a lot of great people in my life, who deserved a lot better than I had to give them.
I didn’t have a lot to give
Three of my closest friends moved away.
One, she moved back.
She ignores me if she sees me in the store. I really was a terrible friend.
The other one,we comment on Facebook sometimes.
She’s come back to Alaska once or twice, maybe she doesn’t believe I have changed?
The last one, my Grey’s Anatomy binge watching darling
We are working on it. We talk, a lot. We confide. We have heart to heart’s. I think we will be okay.
And if I only get one of those three close friends back. I’m okay with that.
There were so many others though. The path behind me, it is littered with the decay of past relatioships. Friends gone by
I had coffee today with someone who Tom and her husband had some sort of falling out
She knew about Michael in the beginning. I confided in them, I still confide in her
They are both blessings.
The friends I still have. I am grateful for. Without them, I woildnt have the strength. I wouldn’t have the support.
For the friends that were lost. For the friends that weren’t allowed. The friends that supported me in their own ways, while I was to blind to truly see it.
You have my deepest apologies. There was more
More you didn’t see. More I didn’t say. There is still so much more. As my story comes out, as I lay it all out there. I hope you are able to see me, and accept my apology.